Thursday, August 18, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
50 REASONS WHY CIRCUMCISION IS **WRONG**
So, here are 50 reasons to leave your son's penis alone and not let a doctor cut it up.
VIA http://www.thewholenetwork.org/
1.) It's his.
2.) I've never met a man who wanted "less" penis when he was old enough to care. Men tend to like their penises just the way they are.
3.) You can change your mind. It's not possible to "un-circumcise", although there are men who have chosen to restore their foreskin later in life. If you're not sure, don't decide at all. It's a non-decision. :)
4.) There is no medical reason to do it routinely.
5.) Circumcision isn't the majority for newborns anymore. According to theNew York Times, the infant circumcision rate is down to 32%. That means 68% of your son's locker room will likely have natural penises. If you circumcise, he will probably ask you why he's different from his buddies.
6.) Natural penises are easier to take care of during the diaper-changing years. Just wipe it like a finger. No retracting, no mess or fuss. Compare that to having to care for an open wound in a diaper.
7.) You wouldn't cut your baby girl's genitals. In fact, it's illegal - even a "nick" is illegal. Male circumcision is a lot more involved than a nick!
8.) Many doctors and nurses refuse to perform the procedure because it violates the Hippocratic Oath - First, Do No Harm.
9.) It hurts. A lot. Really. Don't believe me? Watch a video. With the sound up, please. If you can't watch the whole thing, can you really ask your newborn to go through it?
10.) Babies can't be properly anesthetized. An older child or adult would begiven anesthesia and strong pain medication after any kind of operation, especially one on their genitals. Babies can't have proper pain medication.
11.) Did you know? Infant circumcision rates are less than 10% in the following counties: England, France, Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Canada, Mexico, all of South and Central America, Japan, China, Russia, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Hungary, Greece, Taiwan, Vietnam, India, Sri Lanka, New Zealand, Australia and more.
Infant circumcision rates are higher than 10% in the following countries: USA, Israel, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bahrain, Kuwait, Syria, Lebanon, Yemen, Qatar, Turkey, Jordan, Philippines, Indonesia, Nigeria, Cameroon, Chad, Republic of Congo, Eritrea, and Kenya.
12.) Men with natural penises are less likely to experience Erectile Dysfunction as they age. Translation - your son will be less likely to need Viagra when he's 55.
13.) Female sexual partners of men with natural penises are more likely to achieve orgasm during sexual intercourse. They are also less likely to need lubricant.
14.) There are over 20,000 nerve endings in the foreskin. That's more than in the female clitoris.
15.) The foreskin protects the head of the penis.
16.) The foreskin provides lubrication during sexual intercourse. Men with natural penises are less likely to use lubrication during sex or masturbation (hey, THAT's why my brothers were always stealing my conditioner! Mom would have saved a fortune on bathroom supplies by leaving them natural...)
17.) No major medical organization on earth recommends routine circumcision of infants.
18.) It's easy to clean when he's older. Shower. Besides, by the time his foreskin is retractable, (average age, 10.4 years old), you will no longer be cleaning his penis. I hope.
19.) Circumcision does not prevent AIDS, or any other STD. Condoms do. Having sex with one, monogamous partner and avoiding IV drug use prevents AIDS. Why would you assume your baby's going to be a man-whore anyway?
20.) We don't chop off ears to prevent ear infections. We don't remove baby toenails to prevent fungal infections. We don't cut off legs anymore when a wound becomes infected. In the very unlikely event your son does develop an infection, we have antibiotics.
21.) Circumcision in the US began as a method to discourage masturbation, advocated by Kellogg, the cereal magnate, who also believed in the importance of daily cold enemas. Really - true story!! He stressed that circumcision should be done without anesthesia so boys would remember the pain every time they wanted to masturbate. How'd that work out?
22.) Natural penises only "look funny" to you if they are unfamiliar to you. Your son's generation will see them as normal.
23.) Women produce far more smegma than men, but we don't cut off their baby girl labia to keep things "clean."
24.) Your son will respect you for leaving the decision up to him, and for respecting his right to genital integrity.
25.) Complications of circumcision are NOT rare. Check out this thread on Babycenter.com (a mommy board, not a circumcision website) to read their stories.
26.) Most hospital circumcisions are performed by Obstetricians and Gynecologists, whose specialty is female reproduction, not male.
27.) Circumcision is not usually performed in a sterile operating room, but in a dirty nursery or a side room in hospitals without nurseries.
28.) Circumcision makes money for doctors. A doctor who performs circumcisions makes an extra $20,000-160,000 per year on the operations. That's why they offer circumcision at hospitals - for cash. They'll ask you if you want your son circumcised multiple times at the hospital: they want the money.
29.) Less than 1% of intact men will ever "need" to be circumcised, just as the vast majority of women will never need a hysterectomy or mastectomy.
30.) Penile cancer causes 300 deaths a year, almost exclusively in men over the age of 70. Infant circumcision causes over 500 deaths a yearworldwide. Circumcision does not prevent penile cancer.
31.) Babies with natural penises are more likely to breastfeed successfully. Infant circumcision interferes with breastfeeding and hinders breastfeeding success. Isn't breastfeeding hard enough?
32.) Fathers don't spend time comparing penises with their sons. If your son does notice that his penis is different from Dad's (other than size and hair), you can simply explain that Daddy had an operation when he was a baby. My dad lost half of his ring finger in an accident, but I was never bothered by having all of my fingers.
33.) Your grandfather (or great-grandfather) probably wasn't circumcised, unless you are of Jewish or Muslim descent. It's a relatively new thing in the USA.
34.) Most circumcised penises have scars. If you've ever seen a circumcised penis, you have probably seen circumcision scars and didn't know what they were. Curious? Click here for pictures (adult eyes please, extremely graphic).
35.) When erect, natural penises don't look very different from circumcised ones (adult eyes please)
36.) Babies have died following complications of circumcision.
37.) Babies have had the glans (head) of their penis accidentally amputated during circumcision.
38.) Female circumcision was legal in the United States until 1996. It was practiced in the USA as recently as the 1979 to prevent masturbation.
39.) Your health insurance may not cover the procedure. Medicaid does not cover it in 16 states, and many major insurance companies also do not reimburse for the surgery, since it is cosmetic. If your insurance doesn't cover it, it probably also does not cover any complications.
40.) Babies are strapped down on a circumstraint to have the procedure done. That is the most unnatural, terrifying position for a baby, who previously was all curled up and safe inside Mama's body.
41.) If you believe in evolution, why are men born with foreskins? If you believe in God, why did he give men foreskins? Did they screw up?
42.) If you are Christian, your religion actually *forbids* circumcision. Your son's body is a temple, and Jesus was the sacrifice to end all sacrifices - including the foreskin. See this link for more info.
43.) If you are Jewish, you should know that there is considerable debate about the religious necessity of circumcision.
44.) If you do believe that your religion requires the sacrifice of the foreskin, your son can choose to sacrifice his foreskin in the name of religion when he is old enough to make the decision himself.
45.) The foreskin is fused to the head of an infant's penis, just like your fingernail is fused to your finger. Have you ever pulled back your fingernail all the way? Owwwwwwwwwwwww.
46.) Circumcision makes penises smaller. Who wants a smaller penis?
47.) "My partner should make the decision, he has a penis/she looks at penises" is a dumb reason to abdicate responsibility for a decision. You are your baby's parent, penis or not, and you have a responsibility to protect your child from harm. Victims of FGM (aka female circumcision) are the most vocal supporters and perpetrators of the abuse. Call on your inner Mama or Papa-bear and stand up for your baby's rights. Make your partner watch a video with the sound on and convince YOU why they want this done to their precious child.
48.) You have seen an uncircumcised penis, and you probably didn't even notice. Take a look below at the (safe for kids) picture!
49.) He'll be in good company. Check out this (in my opinion, mouth-watering) gallery of famous intact men! From Elvis, James Dean, Will Smith, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jude Law and sooo many others.
50.) It's his. I know, I said it already. but it's really the first and last reason - and perhaps the only one you really need. It's his body, and unless medically necessary, it should be his choice. You wouldn't give him a nose job without his permission, you wouldn't tattoo your infant. This is the same thing. If you really look at your motives, why would you want to take the risks? Leave the decision where it belongs - in your son's hands.
VIA http://www.thewholenetwork.org/
1.) It's his.
2.) I've never met a man who wanted "less" penis when he was old enough to care. Men tend to like their penises just the way they are.
3.) You can change your mind. It's not possible to "un-circumcise", although there are men who have chosen to restore their foreskin later in life. If you're not sure, don't decide at all. It's a non-decision. :)
4.) There is no medical reason to do it routinely.
5.) Circumcision isn't the majority for newborns anymore. According to theNew York Times, the infant circumcision rate is down to 32%. That means 68% of your son's locker room will likely have natural penises. If you circumcise, he will probably ask you why he's different from his buddies.
6.) Natural penises are easier to take care of during the diaper-changing years. Just wipe it like a finger. No retracting, no mess or fuss. Compare that to having to care for an open wound in a diaper.
7.) You wouldn't cut your baby girl's genitals. In fact, it's illegal - even a "nick" is illegal. Male circumcision is a lot more involved than a nick!
8.) Many doctors and nurses refuse to perform the procedure because it violates the Hippocratic Oath - First, Do No Harm.
9.) It hurts. A lot. Really. Don't believe me? Watch a video. With the sound up, please. If you can't watch the whole thing, can you really ask your newborn to go through it?
10.) Babies can't be properly anesthetized. An older child or adult would begiven anesthesia and strong pain medication after any kind of operation, especially one on their genitals. Babies can't have proper pain medication.
11.) Did you know? Infant circumcision rates are less than 10% in the following counties: England, France, Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Canada, Mexico, all of South and Central America, Japan, China, Russia, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Hungary, Greece, Taiwan, Vietnam, India, Sri Lanka, New Zealand, Australia and more.
Infant circumcision rates are higher than 10% in the following countries: USA, Israel, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bahrain, Kuwait, Syria, Lebanon, Yemen, Qatar, Turkey, Jordan, Philippines, Indonesia, Nigeria, Cameroon, Chad, Republic of Congo, Eritrea, and Kenya.
12.) Men with natural penises are less likely to experience Erectile Dysfunction as they age. Translation - your son will be less likely to need Viagra when he's 55.
13.) Female sexual partners of men with natural penises are more likely to achieve orgasm during sexual intercourse. They are also less likely to need lubricant.
14.) There are over 20,000 nerve endings in the foreskin. That's more than in the female clitoris.
15.) The foreskin protects the head of the penis.
16.) The foreskin provides lubrication during sexual intercourse. Men with natural penises are less likely to use lubrication during sex or masturbation (hey, THAT's why my brothers were always stealing my conditioner! Mom would have saved a fortune on bathroom supplies by leaving them natural...)
17.) No major medical organization on earth recommends routine circumcision of infants.
18.) It's easy to clean when he's older. Shower. Besides, by the time his foreskin is retractable, (average age, 10.4 years old), you will no longer be cleaning his penis. I hope.
19.) Circumcision does not prevent AIDS, or any other STD. Condoms do. Having sex with one, monogamous partner and avoiding IV drug use prevents AIDS. Why would you assume your baby's going to be a man-whore anyway?
20.) We don't chop off ears to prevent ear infections. We don't remove baby toenails to prevent fungal infections. We don't cut off legs anymore when a wound becomes infected. In the very unlikely event your son does develop an infection, we have antibiotics.
21.) Circumcision in the US began as a method to discourage masturbation, advocated by Kellogg, the cereal magnate, who also believed in the importance of daily cold enemas. Really - true story!! He stressed that circumcision should be done without anesthesia so boys would remember the pain every time they wanted to masturbate. How'd that work out?
22.) Natural penises only "look funny" to you if they are unfamiliar to you. Your son's generation will see them as normal.
23.) Women produce far more smegma than men, but we don't cut off their baby girl labia to keep things "clean."
24.) Your son will respect you for leaving the decision up to him, and for respecting his right to genital integrity.
25.) Complications of circumcision are NOT rare. Check out this thread on Babycenter.com (a mommy board, not a circumcision website) to read their stories.
26.) Most hospital circumcisions are performed by Obstetricians and Gynecologists, whose specialty is female reproduction, not male.
27.) Circumcision is not usually performed in a sterile operating room, but in a dirty nursery or a side room in hospitals without nurseries.
28.) Circumcision makes money for doctors. A doctor who performs circumcisions makes an extra $20,000-160,000 per year on the operations. That's why they offer circumcision at hospitals - for cash. They'll ask you if you want your son circumcised multiple times at the hospital: they want the money.
29.) Less than 1% of intact men will ever "need" to be circumcised, just as the vast majority of women will never need a hysterectomy or mastectomy.
30.) Penile cancer causes 300 deaths a year, almost exclusively in men over the age of 70. Infant circumcision causes over 500 deaths a yearworldwide. Circumcision does not prevent penile cancer.
31.) Babies with natural penises are more likely to breastfeed successfully. Infant circumcision interferes with breastfeeding and hinders breastfeeding success. Isn't breastfeeding hard enough?
32.) Fathers don't spend time comparing penises with their sons. If your son does notice that his penis is different from Dad's (other than size and hair), you can simply explain that Daddy had an operation when he was a baby. My dad lost half of his ring finger in an accident, but I was never bothered by having all of my fingers.
33.) Your grandfather (or great-grandfather) probably wasn't circumcised, unless you are of Jewish or Muslim descent. It's a relatively new thing in the USA.
34.) Most circumcised penises have scars. If you've ever seen a circumcised penis, you have probably seen circumcision scars and didn't know what they were. Curious? Click here for pictures (adult eyes please, extremely graphic).
35.) When erect, natural penises don't look very different from circumcised ones (adult eyes please)
36.) Babies have died following complications of circumcision.
37.) Babies have had the glans (head) of their penis accidentally amputated during circumcision.
38.) Female circumcision was legal in the United States until 1996. It was practiced in the USA as recently as the 1979 to prevent masturbation.
39.) Your health insurance may not cover the procedure. Medicaid does not cover it in 16 states, and many major insurance companies also do not reimburse for the surgery, since it is cosmetic. If your insurance doesn't cover it, it probably also does not cover any complications.
40.) Babies are strapped down on a circumstraint to have the procedure done. That is the most unnatural, terrifying position for a baby, who previously was all curled up and safe inside Mama's body.
41.) If you believe in evolution, why are men born with foreskins? If you believe in God, why did he give men foreskins? Did they screw up?
42.) If you are Christian, your religion actually *forbids* circumcision. Your son's body is a temple, and Jesus was the sacrifice to end all sacrifices - including the foreskin. See this link for more info.
43.) If you are Jewish, you should know that there is considerable debate about the religious necessity of circumcision.
44.) If you do believe that your religion requires the sacrifice of the foreskin, your son can choose to sacrifice his foreskin in the name of religion when he is old enough to make the decision himself.
45.) The foreskin is fused to the head of an infant's penis, just like your fingernail is fused to your finger. Have you ever pulled back your fingernail all the way? Owwwwwwwwwwwww.
46.) Circumcision makes penises smaller. Who wants a smaller penis?
47.) "My partner should make the decision, he has a penis/she looks at penises" is a dumb reason to abdicate responsibility for a decision. You are your baby's parent, penis or not, and you have a responsibility to protect your child from harm. Victims of FGM (aka female circumcision) are the most vocal supporters and perpetrators of the abuse. Call on your inner Mama or Papa-bear and stand up for your baby's rights. Make your partner watch a video with the sound on and convince YOU why they want this done to their precious child.
48.) You have seen an uncircumcised penis, and you probably didn't even notice. Take a look below at the (safe for kids) picture!
49.) He'll be in good company. Check out this (in my opinion, mouth-watering) gallery of famous intact men! From Elvis, James Dean, Will Smith, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jude Law and sooo many others.
50.) It's his. I know, I said it already. but it's really the first and last reason - and perhaps the only one you really need. It's his body, and unless medically necessary, it should be his choice. You wouldn't give him a nose job without his permission, you wouldn't tattoo your infant. This is the same thing. If you really look at your motives, why would you want to take the risks? Leave the decision where it belongs - in your son's hands.
My breastfeeding experience with Koebe.
I always knew that I would breastfeed my children. I knew it from the time I was 13 and my mother had my little brother Milo. I always knew I was breastfed and so was my brother but when Milo was born I saw it firsthand. When I got older and before Scott and I planned Koebe we both knew I would breastfed. I knew there was the formula option and it never sat right with me and I always thought it was gross when I worked in daycares. It smelled and those babies that were formula fed were never as healthy.
When I got pregnant with Koebe I didn't research anything about breastfeeding. As you can gather from his birth story I didn't look into much. In my mind I thought you put your breast in the baby's mouth and nursing just happened. I was one of the first of my friends to have babies and my only other friend with a kid quit breastfeeding cause her baby had reflux. (which is NEVER a reason to quit as formula just makes it worse....) anyone I had no resources or support outside of my Mom, grandma, aunt and of course Scott. I had no idea where to turn if I had issues and I thought that a nurse and doctor could be my help. I was so wrong.
After I gave birth I knew I wanted to nurse Koebe as soon as possible. I nursed him as soon as they would let me. I put my nipple in his mouth the way I was instructed and he didn't know what to do. He had a medicated birth and I was tense with people watching and I didn't know what I was doing. I expected it to just work. Within a few minutes I got him to nurse. he went for a few minutes then they transferred us to our room. While in the hospital I did as they said. nurse 10-15 min on one side and then switch. I did this every 2 hours. I didn't do skin to skin time, I didn't nurse on demand, I didn't get to co-sleep and I used the nursery. I was miserable. I hurt and it was all around a awful experience.
Nursing Koebe in the Hospital
The night before we went home, they took my baby in the night and circumcised him. ( I will not explain this choice at this point just know I have the most regret a mother could have about this and will be addressed in a later post)
When we went home I nursed Koebe every 2 hours and woke him up every 3-4 hours at night to nurse him. he would scream and fight me every time I got him in the football hold. My baby was refusing me. It wasn't until months and months later that I realized why. He was in pain. His penis was hurt. Sometimes he just wanted to sleep so I did as I was told and stripped him down and woke him up even more and messed with him to wake him enough to eat.
On day 2 I took Koebe to his pediatrician Dr. Al-durrah. (When I interviewed her she said she breastfed her children for about a month and then couldn't any longer) At Koebe's appt they pricked his heal to check his belirubin (sp?). The doctor said that it was high and that he had mild breastmilk jaundice. She suggested I give him some formula in a bottle until my milk comes in (BOOBIE TRAP). I told her NO WAY! my baby is not getting formula. She suggested I pump and give him some in a bottle so I could flush his system. Against all my gut feelings I did. On the third day my milk came in.
Scott got out the breast pump one night so that I could give that a try so I could store up some milk. I didn't want to touch the thing it was intimidating. He read the instructions boiled it all and showed me how to use it. Most of this time was a blur. On the third day my milk came in. I was sleep deprived and pretty depressed about nursing and anything going on. I would cry and throw a fit over silly things and poor Scott dealt with my crazy hormone induced emotions. Nursing continued this way for about a week. My baby fought me when I was trying to give him the best thing in the world that he could he. he was denying me as him mommy.
One day I was crying about spilt milk or something else just as ridiculous and Scott said "babe, why don't you just pump and give it to him in a bottle and see if he takes it and maybe he won't fight you" THIS CONVERSATION STILL HAUNTS ME 19 MONTHS LATER. As much as I didn't want to do this I felt like I didn't know what else to do. I did it. I gave my baby his first bottle. Then it was all ok. my baby ate, I pumped and it was what I thought was easier. I however would not allow Scott to feed him. I am the mommy, I make the milk and it's MY job to feed our child. One of the times I was pissed off at Scott again with my crazy mommy hormones and it was time for Koebe to eat and he gave him a bottle of breastmilk. I was furious and cried. It was my job. for the next week I nursed and gave him a bottle. sometimes it was just easier to give him a bottle so I started nursing him less and pumping more cause he didn't fight the bottle. I didn't have to hold him in a way that hurt him and I didn't have to have him fight me.
I was running errands with my grandma and told her I was thinking about just pumping. She said NO. call the La Leche League and talk to them. I never did. I did finally call a LC at the hospital and she didn't call me back. I had made up my mind. I couldn't bare him refusing me. I know I had some PPD and that was effecting it and making it worse. I started to nurse less and less and then it got to the point where I would hardly do it at all. pumping was working and he was getting breastmilk and I made that ok in my mind. The last time I remember nursing him and not having a huge problem was when Scotts parents visited around valentine's day. I remember going up to pump and I took Koebe and just tried for the hell of it. and he did. Foresight is 20/20. I should have stopped pumping and worked hard at getting him back to the breast. I should have listened to my grandma and my mom when they said just keep working with him.
In April 2010 I went to the natural living expo. Scott had been nagging me to go to the chiropractor for months and I wanted to but didn't make it a high priority. After all if someone "fixed" me I wouldn't be needing those amazing back massages nightly. Walking though the expo we stopped and talked to a chiropractor. They were doing a special and they would have my first appt be 45$. I signed up and made an appt. at Yost Family Chiropractic. At my first about we did the initial exam and talked about my nursing and Dr. Heather Yost told me I should try and get him to nurse and it is possible. I tried and he refused of course. Dr. Heather does mommy and me meet ups and I went to my first one. She talked about healthier options for raising children. She talked about introducing food, allergies, ADD, autism and other like things. She had all her books out for us to look at and she recommended one on vaccines and one called "smart medicine for a healthier child". I went home to half.com and I ordered several that she recommended. I don't think it was just by chance that I stumbled upon this Doctor at the expo. Dr. Heather Yost has cared so much about her patients to inform them or lead them to inform themselves and has truly changed my life. The local LLL Natalie was also a huge help when I was going through all of this. This may seem a little off topic from nursing but it has everything to do with it. They had always supported me nursing or pumping and has offered me every resource to help me get Koebe back to the breast. I think if I would have given it my all from the moment they suggested things I would be nursing right now. BUT, you think at the time the world is impossible and it's too late.
I tried everything to get Koebe back to the breast but it was just too late I think. I tried the SNS, I tried having a friend nurse Koebe and I tried nursing her son and Koebe didn't care. I nursed my niece in front of him and more times than I can count I nursed friends babies for them so they could leave their baby and Koebe never cared. I tried lots of skin to skin and recreating the birth experience for him. I always said I tried everything but starving him and then at about 9 months I tried that. We went 26 hours with no bottle and nothing but water in a cup and a couple black beans. I was told by several respected chiropractors that in 72 hours (or was it 48) that any baby would start to nurse. I did get him to come to be to get milk but he saw the nipple and then didn't want to any more. I got him to nurse with a bottle nipple over mine. I went to Dr. Heathers and she tried nursing him and it was not working. We went to bed that night and when Koebe woke up hungry at 2am I bawled and went down and thawed him the biggest bottle he ever drank. I cried and told him how sorry I was. I was sorry that I quit nursing him and I am sorry for how hard I tried to get him to nurse again. That was my last go around.
Koebe 9 months old coming to my breast for milk
With the help of several moms and Eats On Feet and Human Milk 4 Human Babies I continued to pump and supplement with donor milk for 16 and a half months. For about 6 months on I had struggled with supply. I drank tons of water, ate oatmeal, took fenugreek, blessed thistle, stinging nettles, nursing support capsules, nursing concoctions, dark beer, you name it I tried it. I did positive affirmation, everything. My supply was so up and down and stressing me out. Finally at 16 months my supply took another hit. I was getting 1.5 oz out of each side in the mornings. when I should have gotten at least 3 at this point which too was pretty pitiful. For a few days I told Scott the end was near. I couldn't keep doing this. I did more than most moms ever had when I came to nursing and gave my baby breastmilk longer than 90% of American mothers. Soon after I quit pumping. I told Scott "TAKE THAT FUCKING THING DOWNSTAIRS AND PUT IT IN THE FARTHEST CORNER YOU CAN FIND!" I was proud of myself for making it that long and I was finally done.
I haven't pumped in almost 3 months and I still sometimes find myself wondering when I pumped last or having the sudden thought "oh crap I need to pump". My son at 19 months now still gets breastmilk. towards the end of me pumping I was freezing most of what I made and also paying it forward by donating to friends who needed it. But I saved some for me. I also have some donor milk that I still use.
After 16 months of pumping while driving, pumping in airport bathrooms, GOING THROUGH # BREATPUMPS COSTING 280$ EACH, pumping in a secluded room, pumping every 2 hours, thinking about pumping 24 hrs a day. I was done. Come to find out my final supply drop was because WE ARE PREGNANT! I am not 16 weeks along and sooooo looking forward to nursing and to continue to pump so Koebe can get breastmilk long after my frozen milk runs out. I hope with everything I have that he will want to nurse when he sees him new baby doing it too. He knows where milk comes from and he would even come over and let me squirt it in his mouth. even still he comes over to me in the morning and signals "more" at my nipple cause he wants some but all that's left is colostrum and he will just have to wait.
So that is how nursing was for me and how it never will be again. People wonder why I am so passionate about breastmilk well it's because I went to hell and back so that I could do what's best for my son and I think that everyone else should be doing the best for theirs. There is no doubt that Breast is and will always be best.
***MY SON HAS NEVER EVER RECIEVED A DROP OF FORMULA! :)***
When I got pregnant with Koebe I didn't research anything about breastfeeding. As you can gather from his birth story I didn't look into much. In my mind I thought you put your breast in the baby's mouth and nursing just happened. I was one of the first of my friends to have babies and my only other friend with a kid quit breastfeeding cause her baby had reflux. (which is NEVER a reason to quit as formula just makes it worse....) anyone I had no resources or support outside of my Mom, grandma, aunt and of course Scott. I had no idea where to turn if I had issues and I thought that a nurse and doctor could be my help. I was so wrong.
After I gave birth I knew I wanted to nurse Koebe as soon as possible. I nursed him as soon as they would let me. I put my nipple in his mouth the way I was instructed and he didn't know what to do. He had a medicated birth and I was tense with people watching and I didn't know what I was doing. I expected it to just work. Within a few minutes I got him to nurse. he went for a few minutes then they transferred us to our room. While in the hospital I did as they said. nurse 10-15 min on one side and then switch. I did this every 2 hours. I didn't do skin to skin time, I didn't nurse on demand, I didn't get to co-sleep and I used the nursery. I was miserable. I hurt and it was all around a awful experience.
The night before we went home, they took my baby in the night and circumcised him. ( I will not explain this choice at this point just know I have the most regret a mother could have about this and will be addressed in a later post)
When we went home I nursed Koebe every 2 hours and woke him up every 3-4 hours at night to nurse him. he would scream and fight me every time I got him in the football hold. My baby was refusing me. It wasn't until months and months later that I realized why. He was in pain. His penis was hurt. Sometimes he just wanted to sleep so I did as I was told and stripped him down and woke him up even more and messed with him to wake him enough to eat.
On day 2 I took Koebe to his pediatrician Dr. Al-durrah. (When I interviewed her she said she breastfed her children for about a month and then couldn't any longer) At Koebe's appt they pricked his heal to check his belirubin (sp?). The doctor said that it was high and that he had mild breastmilk jaundice. She suggested I give him some formula in a bottle until my milk comes in (BOOBIE TRAP). I told her NO WAY! my baby is not getting formula. She suggested I pump and give him some in a bottle so I could flush his system. Against all my gut feelings I did. On the third day my milk came in.
Scott got out the breast pump one night so that I could give that a try so I could store up some milk. I didn't want to touch the thing it was intimidating. He read the instructions boiled it all and showed me how to use it. Most of this time was a blur. On the third day my milk came in. I was sleep deprived and pretty depressed about nursing and anything going on. I would cry and throw a fit over silly things and poor Scott dealt with my crazy hormone induced emotions. Nursing continued this way for about a week. My baby fought me when I was trying to give him the best thing in the world that he could he. he was denying me as him mommy.
One day I was crying about spilt milk or something else just as ridiculous and Scott said "babe, why don't you just pump and give it to him in a bottle and see if he takes it and maybe he won't fight you" THIS CONVERSATION STILL HAUNTS ME 19 MONTHS LATER. As much as I didn't want to do this I felt like I didn't know what else to do. I did it. I gave my baby his first bottle. Then it was all ok. my baby ate, I pumped and it was what I thought was easier. I however would not allow Scott to feed him. I am the mommy, I make the milk and it's MY job to feed our child. One of the times I was pissed off at Scott again with my crazy mommy hormones and it was time for Koebe to eat and he gave him a bottle of breastmilk. I was furious and cried. It was my job. for the next week I nursed and gave him a bottle. sometimes it was just easier to give him a bottle so I started nursing him less and pumping more cause he didn't fight the bottle. I didn't have to hold him in a way that hurt him and I didn't have to have him fight me.
I was running errands with my grandma and told her I was thinking about just pumping. She said NO. call the La Leche League and talk to them. I never did. I did finally call a LC at the hospital and she didn't call me back. I had made up my mind. I couldn't bare him refusing me. I know I had some PPD and that was effecting it and making it worse. I started to nurse less and less and then it got to the point where I would hardly do it at all. pumping was working and he was getting breastmilk and I made that ok in my mind. The last time I remember nursing him and not having a huge problem was when Scotts parents visited around valentine's day. I remember going up to pump and I took Koebe and just tried for the hell of it. and he did. Foresight is 20/20. I should have stopped pumping and worked hard at getting him back to the breast. I should have listened to my grandma and my mom when they said just keep working with him.
In April 2010 I went to the natural living expo. Scott had been nagging me to go to the chiropractor for months and I wanted to but didn't make it a high priority. After all if someone "fixed" me I wouldn't be needing those amazing back massages nightly. Walking though the expo we stopped and talked to a chiropractor. They were doing a special and they would have my first appt be 45$. I signed up and made an appt. at Yost Family Chiropractic. At my first about we did the initial exam and talked about my nursing and Dr. Heather Yost told me I should try and get him to nurse and it is possible. I tried and he refused of course. Dr. Heather does mommy and me meet ups and I went to my first one. She talked about healthier options for raising children. She talked about introducing food, allergies, ADD, autism and other like things. She had all her books out for us to look at and she recommended one on vaccines and one called "smart medicine for a healthier child". I went home to half.com and I ordered several that she recommended. I don't think it was just by chance that I stumbled upon this Doctor at the expo. Dr. Heather Yost has cared so much about her patients to inform them or lead them to inform themselves and has truly changed my life. The local LLL Natalie was also a huge help when I was going through all of this. This may seem a little off topic from nursing but it has everything to do with it. They had always supported me nursing or pumping and has offered me every resource to help me get Koebe back to the breast. I think if I would have given it my all from the moment they suggested things I would be nursing right now. BUT, you think at the time the world is impossible and it's too late.
I tried everything to get Koebe back to the breast but it was just too late I think. I tried the SNS, I tried having a friend nurse Koebe and I tried nursing her son and Koebe didn't care. I nursed my niece in front of him and more times than I can count I nursed friends babies for them so they could leave their baby and Koebe never cared. I tried lots of skin to skin and recreating the birth experience for him. I always said I tried everything but starving him and then at about 9 months I tried that. We went 26 hours with no bottle and nothing but water in a cup and a couple black beans. I was told by several respected chiropractors that in 72 hours (or was it 48) that any baby would start to nurse. I did get him to come to be to get milk but he saw the nipple and then didn't want to any more. I got him to nurse with a bottle nipple over mine. I went to Dr. Heathers and she tried nursing him and it was not working. We went to bed that night and when Koebe woke up hungry at 2am I bawled and went down and thawed him the biggest bottle he ever drank. I cried and told him how sorry I was. I was sorry that I quit nursing him and I am sorry for how hard I tried to get him to nurse again. That was my last go around.
With the help of several moms and Eats On Feet and Human Milk 4 Human Babies I continued to pump and supplement with donor milk for 16 and a half months. For about 6 months on I had struggled with supply. I drank tons of water, ate oatmeal, took fenugreek, blessed thistle, stinging nettles, nursing support capsules, nursing concoctions, dark beer, you name it I tried it. I did positive affirmation, everything. My supply was so up and down and stressing me out. Finally at 16 months my supply took another hit. I was getting 1.5 oz out of each side in the mornings. when I should have gotten at least 3 at this point which too was pretty pitiful. For a few days I told Scott the end was near. I couldn't keep doing this. I did more than most moms ever had when I came to nursing and gave my baby breastmilk longer than 90% of American mothers. Soon after I quit pumping. I told Scott "TAKE THAT FUCKING THING DOWNSTAIRS AND PUT IT IN THE FARTHEST CORNER YOU CAN FIND!" I was proud of myself for making it that long and I was finally done.
I haven't pumped in almost 3 months and I still sometimes find myself wondering when I pumped last or having the sudden thought "oh crap I need to pump". My son at 19 months now still gets breastmilk. towards the end of me pumping I was freezing most of what I made and also paying it forward by donating to friends who needed it. But I saved some for me. I also have some donor milk that I still use.
After 16 months of pumping while driving, pumping in airport bathrooms, GOING THROUGH # BREATPUMPS COSTING 280$ EACH, pumping in a secluded room, pumping every 2 hours, thinking about pumping 24 hrs a day. I was done. Come to find out my final supply drop was because WE ARE PREGNANT! I am not 16 weeks along and sooooo looking forward to nursing and to continue to pump so Koebe can get breastmilk long after my frozen milk runs out. I hope with everything I have that he will want to nurse when he sees him new baby doing it too. He knows where milk comes from and he would even come over and let me squirt it in his mouth. even still he comes over to me in the morning and signals "more" at my nipple cause he wants some but all that's left is colostrum and he will just have to wait.
So that is how nursing was for me and how it never will be again. People wonder why I am so passionate about breastmilk well it's because I went to hell and back so that I could do what's best for my son and I think that everyone else should be doing the best for theirs. There is no doubt that Breast is and will always be best.
***MY SON HAS NEVER EVER RECIEVED A DROP OF FORMULA! :)***
Monday, August 15, 2011
Koebe's Birth Story.
When I was pregnant with Koebe is was pretty darn "mainstream". I knew how to eat healthy and had a very healthy influence in my life but fact is I was like any other American. I ate fast food, and sweets like they were going out of style when I was pregnant. I think I made Koebe with Burger King original chicken sandwiches and brownies. That being said looking back I am ashamed of the way I acted.
For my pregnancy care I went through a Ob. I always liked the Ob I saw and then she was rude a few times and liked some of the others in the practice but I ALWAY hated the front desk staff and the lady who dealt with insurance. I had tons of troubles with insurance during my pregnancy. I got dropped and added daily if that is even possible. By about 20 weeks I was getting worried and went to get Title 19 as a back up because I was worried about having a 12k hospital bill because of my insurance's negligence.
My pregnancy went great. I never had morning sickness and I felt pretty good. I had lots of back ache during the end ( thankful scott rubbed my back and feet every night) and the normal round ligament pain that I thought for sure was something awful happening. I called the Doc at any ache and pain like most first time mothers. We decorated the nursery and bought the 600$ pottery barn crib and changing table and dresser to match. We painted a sail boat mural on the wall and I sat in there imagining my baby sleeping in there. (he never has til this day) That what about all the childbirth planning that I did.
When I was 38 weeks I was going into the doctor weekly by then as I was nearing the end of my pregnancy and for some reason that meant more doctor visits. I had been in the hospital a week prior to get monitored and every time I went in I was hoping for a u/s to see my sweet boy. I wasn't complaining I loved going in and hearing I was close and 3 cm dilated and all that Jazz.
So getting to the good stuff, it was January 21st. A Friday. I went in to the Ob to have my 38 week appt and check dilation and everything. I had urine tested and it came back that I had some protein and they checked my blood pressure which was a little high. They checked dilation and I was a 1 or a 3... hell that doesn't matter. They ended up sending me over to the hospital to get my BP monitored. I was there for about an hour and then the doctor came in and said she would just like to induce me. I was full term and she didn't want anything to escalate. So I freaked out cause I wanted them to wait to do anything until Scott went home and got our hospital bags. She said she would get me checked in and break my water and he would be back before anything happened so I let him go home.
They took me to my room, did my IV and broke my water with a plastic hook. It hurt like heck! Scott came back and we waited. I was handling my contractions and breathing through them. We put on "I Love Lucy" and I tried to watch it but was really distracted and nervous for what was going to happen. My cousin Christen stopped up to say hi. She was already at the hospital visiting her other cousin who just had a baby that day. My mom and Doug also stopped up quick to say HI.
The doctor came in and gave me the antibiotics for the group B strep. The antibiotics BURNED going through my veins. Not much later the nurse came in and started me on pitocin. After that I could no longer handle the contractions. I got some pain meds. I'm not sure if it helped because soon after they asked me for a epidural and I took it. Going into it I thought I would only get it if I needed it and knowing that option was there I caved when they asked. After the Epi I felt no pain. I went hours without any pain or discomfort. I tried to sleep and tried to watch "I love Lucy" and then I sat there and watched Scott nap. Lots of waiting. It's funny cause first time mothers worry about getting to the hospital in time and what not and they don't realize that it's a process that *normally* doesn't happen instantly.
After a few hours the epidural was starting to really annoy the heck out of me. I was starting to feel my contractions but in a crampy form in the leg/butt area. It was really weird! I also felt a little nauseous a few times and didn't like having to rotate because I was comfortable until they made me move. Still after being switched around I felt the ache in my left butt/thigh. and on top of it I was STARVING! I asked for food and of course got none. I told the lady I would pass out if I didn't get food and they agreed to some chicken broth.
Nurse came in and checked my dilation. I was a 10. The magic number 10cm. Time to push. The first few pushes we fine. Not much happening not painful. What was painful was people telling me when to push and listening to the 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 over and over and over. When his head came down and I was working on delivering his head is when it started to hurt. The nurse kept telling me how good of a pusher I was. I asked how long people normally push and she said some 20 min and some hours. I was not going to push for hours! I was going to get that baby! I Felt the burn and kept pushing cause I wanted it all to stop. After his head pushed through it was a huge relief. on the next push the rest of him came out. I pushed for a total of 45 minutes.
Koebe Ray Rebel Farrel was brought earth side at 3:45 on January 22nd, 2010. When he was born they set him on my tummy and I got to have my first look at him. He looked just like Scott. They then quickly cut the cord and took him over to the infant area where they wiped him off and suctioned him and got him all bundled up.
As Koebe was getting weight and foot prints done I was getting a small tear sewn up. after all that I told them I wanted to nurse him. It was very important to me that this be done as soon as possible. He did not latch on right away and I had to listen to this lady tell me hold your boob like a "sub" sandwich... blah blah blah. Finally I got him to latch on and he ate for a little bit.
All was well and then I wanted to get up and use the bathroom. I'm not sure but that may have been more painful then pushing out his little head. It burned very bad and my tear stung. This is the main thing I remember about after birth. I did not leave my bed unless I had to shower or use the restroom and every time I dreaded it because it hurt so bad to pee. I remember this for at least a week after we were home and I think it was close to 2.
Looking back now there is nothing about this birth that I would have done the same. or pregnancy for that matter. #1 I would have looking more closely at child birth and my options. #2 I would have never gotten induced unless they proved to me I really did have pre eclampsia #3 NO PITOCIN NO EPIDURAL... I could go on for days about everything I did wrong but when you know better you do better and my next birth story will be 110% different from this one. Sorry Koebe. I feel like I let you down. I am thankful you are such a happy and healthy boy. The guilt would be overwhelming had this not been the case. You may have had a unhealthy start but at 18 months you are such a handsome,happy, healthy (only been sick ONE TIME) little man!
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